Outside Sales

Sales is a tough cookie to crumble. For a person who's never done outside sales before, there is a lot of information to remember and to disseminate. I'm quickly finding that confidence is one of the most valuable tools for a salesperson to possess. Which, I have to admit, I thought I had a lot of it, but the past couple of days the confidence that I do have has truly been shaken.
I'm working with someone who's truly a salesperson. And, an honest salesperson which I've also found from dealing with salespeople in the past is truly a commodity in short supply. He's a very knowledgeable person, lots of experience, not just sales experience, but true life experience. Which, I think is one of the most important things that we can bring to anything that we really do that we wish to do well.
I've not had a job before which has challenged me as much as outside sales has. But, it's exactly what I need to grow beyond this point where I'm at in my personal life. It is challenging yes, but it's not beyond what I can accomplish. Not at all.
It is the exact challenge which I need to rouse me up to be a better communicator. I've always felt that I was a very good at written communications, but verbally, I think that I've allowed some of my confidence level to intrude into my abilities there. I am enjoying this challenge, and I do feel that it's forcing me to grow beyond my bounds.
Today I've learned a few valuable lessons. One of them being that I'm not as direct or assertive as I should be. I had that pointed out to me, and it was a bit of a wake up call for me. It's funny that I know how to write in the active voice, but I'm passive in my speaking voice. So, this new immeditate challenge to me is to learn to speak in the same voice that I write with. I know how to write the active voice. I'm going to call you. I'm going to do this. I'm calling to confirm our appointment. But, in my speaking voice it's always been. Do you mind if I call you? Do you mind if I do this? I was wondering if you were still available for our appointment?

Yes, it's really time that I took charge of this thing.

Magic Carpets & Muddy Fields

Sometimes we find that the rug we walk upon becomes slippery, almost as if it is to fly. We coast upon the ground beneath our feet, lighter than air, greeting the difficulties in life in passing.
While other times, we are face down in a muck of despair, struggling to escape the turmoil that life has seen fit to hoist upon us. Yet, the duality of living is inescapable, find the middle ground to walk upon, It's certainty and solidity will keep you upon the path.

Don't stray too far into the air, or too deep into the muck.

Garden of Consciousness

There are visions I have of places from time to time. Natural places which for reasons unknown I've recorded in my mind. Just flashes which I visit in my mind sometimes. I'm not sure why they are there, or even if I've actually been to them, it may be a side road I've driven down or a trail I've hiked, a ditch I've seen as I've sped along the highway, or a hillside that my mind's eye has imprinted into memory. I find them calming, peaceful, and serene, though I when I have these moments of recall I also have an uncertainty about these places. Did I see them as a child? Or are they places that I've yet to see? Perhaps they are just memories of places which I've been. You see, I lost some of my memory from childhood as a result of choking. I went into a period of unconsciousness for about a week. I was on the precipice of needing to relearn the basic functioning such as walking and the alphabet, and much of what we take for granted as rudimentary existence. So, I'm left to wonder sometimes if these places which I recall are from childhood memories which are stored deep within my memories, locked in some box, which hold a key to some part of my soul.
I think that within each of us, we are all trying to solve a part of a puzzle. We are the parts of a cosmic equation which the Creator has placed a part of this puzzle within. Who knows...perhaps these moments of bliss which I visit in my memory are my own parts of the cosmic puzzle for which I'm working out the solutions. Perhaps they are past memory, or perhaps they are future memory. My own ephemera of the mental landscape, the flashes which I have which mean something to me for only a moment of passing, will....until the next time remain relagated to the depths of my consciousness.

Patience and Contemplation

Time is made from honey, slow and sweet. And, only the fools know what it means...

We're a very impatient lot, on the whole. The human animal, always rushing from point A to point B, never allowing a modicum of time for quiet contemplation. Well, most people at least. But, I've found that patience and contemplation, yield their own rewards.

Patience in friendships, leads to life long friends who you'll be able to depend upon.

Contemplation, gives you an inner strength to cope with all of the tribulation to which life subjects the spirt.

Now, both of these are intertwined. It takes a lot of patience to contemplate anything, most problems in living don't have simple clear cut answers at which we can arrive at simply by filling a box with a lead pencil. Much of the splendor of living is making the errors and learning from those errors, seeing where our failings were, growing, and moving along to the next crisis, similar to a constant state of rebirth.....

"each passing moment, is another opportunity to turn it all around."

With patience and contemplation, we can find our places in the world, reach our truest potentials, and evolve our selves beyond our immaturity of living to gain wisdoms for our future error.

We should have patience with ourselves, and even moreso with our fellows while on this Earth. I feel that if we seek patient contemplation of our own life, than we should more easily find it in others and for others.

Wave

I wonder sometimes. Can you feel me thinking of you in tender moments of solitude?
I wonder sometimes, if you know the depths beneath this surface.
If the connections across the great divide are functioning
If the thoughts sent travel at the speed of spirit?
I wonder sometimes about the world and the distances between points
I ponder thoughts of packing, travel, jumping trains, boats, planes
and car rides alongside you.
I wonder if the madness in my spirit will overtake me,
and those tender moments of solitude will turn to tender moments shared.

The life unlived

A life unlived, the dream is released. I let it go, and move along to brighter horizons. Mystics and soothsayers have divined these passings with the throwing of bones, tossing of cards, and the readings of the stars. Simply put, some things in our conscious existence just aren't to be. We follow a part of our paths down until they reach a cul de sac, then we are left with the questions of settling in the dead end, or turning our pale tiny canoe around and rowing against the stream until we see a brighter horizon. It's the beauty of living that makes us go on most of the time, while we err, sometimes on the side of hope, we still realize that our path in life is the one that matters. Finding our way through this maelstrom that is our consciousness perception of reality is our lot in life, which ever compass we choose, be it religion, intuition, or reason will typically guide us to where we feel we should be, at least for a time until the upset of living jostles our tiny canoe and the ripples force us to reconsider.

Cracking the shell..

I'm stepping outside my comfort zone. It's the only way to grow beyond these bounds, the constraints that I've allowed to be placed upon me for far too long. I think that it's necessary for us all to find a way to get out of our comfort zones occasionally. A couple years back, I'd read an excerpt of something that was rumoured to have been written by Kurt Vonnegut, but then it was revealed to have been some sort of hoax; regardless the piece called....'Wear Sunscreen' is chocked full of hit and run wisdom. One of the things that's stuck with me from it was:

Do one thing every day that scares you.

I think that we all get very complacent with our living, and just do the things that we know we're expert at, or that we find we've a special affinity for excellence in, but those things don't make us grow. They just show what we're capable of, but not what we can reach.

Are we all just happy to live within the shell of our own makings and not to explode that shell and explore the world around us, cracking open the chrysalis, spreading our wings and floating off on the warm winds blowing?

I have to say that I feel that I'm in a period of growth right now. I'm being forced to learn some new skills, as well as choosing to learn some new ones on my own. I have a very strong sense of freedom and growth, and confidence. I may fail, I may succeed, but I think I'll be richer for the journey.

Destiny

It's essential in life that we set goals for ourselves. Having something to look forward to, a milestone to pass, or an accomplishment that we want to make gives us the purpose that we need everyday. I've spent a lot of my life not planning, letting my dice fall where they may, sometimes picking them up and casting them again, while others being tossed about by the whims of fortune. There is something to be said of a fatalistic method such as that, it can lead you to your ultimate state of being eventually, but upon getting closer to that state...it's time to take the reins and begin to drive that wild horse of destiny to the place that you want to go.

Destiny is no slave to be mastered,
she is a vicious, trying horse
and you..
but a rider.

How's it going to end?

The other side of the universe yields it's mysteries in moments of the closest connections.

Shared moments of laughter, expose the swirling arm of far away galaxies.

A sigh hints of the collapse of a star.

Sometimes to categorize feelings, it's very difficult. Putting the mixture of emotions that we're capable of in any given moment into a succint twist of phrase, is at times an impossibility. The conflicts we have with our inner voices, the faiths in living we embrace, the knowledge of the coming day and it's events, all swirlling in our minds trying to find a grasp on the formation of that turn of phrase to describe our inner struggle. Yet, somehow...we manage to filter out the conflicting emotions, constrain our faiths to reality, and curtail our conveyance of our own knowledge enough so that they all work in tandem to create this dialogue with the rest of the world. Whether those feelings are of love, nervousness, fear, excitement, or despondency...somehow the spirit is able to distill them into a few phrases to pass along those feelings to the rest of the world.

I think that I'm in a sort of a swirl right now. I've always felt that I've been in a state of 'static change' or a state where there is a constant change going on in life. Perhaps all of us are in a static change, well....I will refute that immediately because I know people who never change, who resist change and neglect to ever allow themselves to change. Let me rephrase it, Perhaps some of us are in a static change where we're constantly opening ourselves up to the universe extending our spirits and allowing them to be affected by the world around; always seeking knowledge and understanding; and just trying our best to comprehend why we're here. Perhaps that makes for a life that is difficult to live, but doesn't the saying go that the 'unexamined life is a life not worth living."

(I'm really happy.)

A pause

Well it's finally the end of the day. I'm at that moment of my last bit of introspective thought of the day. When I was writing madly...I would take a few moments with pen and paper just before I hit the light to doze off to sleep and write some free verse. Lately, I've gotten my self back into the habit marginally, and some of the things that have come out of those writings have been good...some...er not so good.
Anyway, things are starting to look up.