Do you know what we need on this planet? More of yesterday. Geologically speaking, and by that I mean that a stalagtitite had barely formed an inch of limestone we had this remarkable system where people grew food, someone took the product of that growth and made something delicious from it, and then some other jackass came along and gave them a buck-fifty for something locally grown that was tasty, and everyone had a great time. But, today Heartburn, Inc is manufacturing your food from a cow that was grown in a lab in Bumfuck, Egypt Antarctica and shipped in fetal form to a lab in Idaho and then later formed into a patty so it could be put into a pretty pink package and then you bought it and zapped it in your electron vibrator and threw it on a plate.
You tell me what sounds better?
I don't know about the rest of you, but I tend to do better when I consume something that isn't in a box with some doofus's logo on it. I like my food in a bag, or in as little packaging as possible. And, my stomach will corroborate this if you want to interview it yourself to confirm that.
Case in point, I've paid pretty close attention to when and where I've eaten and how my body has reacted to what I've put into it and anything from Krystal's is not allowed anymore. Which is sad, because I actually enjoy consuming those slimy-tenth of a centimeter thick beef patties on thick slabs of steamy bread. But, that ecstasy lasts only for a moment, because afterward I'm cursing this manufactured food industry that we apparently embrace in this spur of the moment world we've launched ourselves into when we sat foot on the moon and planted our Ronald McDonald flag.
Anytime that I eat those burgers, I get some violent heartburn and I doubt that I'm the only person on this misshapen ball of rocks and water that responds this way. I don't know if it's age, or a change in their manufacturing practice, or it's something that is symptomatic of this whole industry of fast food that has laid waste to my digestive system, but I simply suffer more than I enjoy consuming fast food from that particular establishment nowadays.
I write this only as a response in recently learning that they are expanding their reach into the fast food market, as well as a sort of plea to their organization that they try to focus on making foods that I(along with all of my brothers and sisters in heartburn) can consume and enjoy free of whatever additives that they've stretched out their materials with to make it possible for them to increase their market share of the American consumer's digestive malaise. Seriously, I eat a lot of different foods. I'm pretty freaking omniviorous, and not a picky eater. So I have to ask you, Krystal, what are you doing now to your food that you weren't doing in the past couple of years that have caused me to regret ever hearing of your little tasty square grease laden burgers that are so perfect after a night of alcoholic debauchery? You must have added something, or neglected including something that has lead to this sort of reaction from one of your previously ravenous consumers.
I don't think that it's just Krystals that is guilty of stretching out materials with fillers and chemically treated substances which likely shouldn't be consumed by human beings, but Krystals happens to be what is on my mind at this moment. Actually, it's most anything that is in a package that I have had a problem with lately, boxes specifically. Pre-prepared foods that contain a laundry-list of hard to pronounce chemicals that have no place in a human digestive tract, yes you Budget Gourmet, Stouffers, Digorno, and you too Marie Callendar, all of you do nothing but cause me to have heartburn. After I've eaten your food, I have to go and have an antacid. So, over time I've learned that it's just not worth it to subscribe to your version of fast food in a pretty box that I can prepare in minutes in my microwave, screw you and your antacid producing parent companies too. I'll just eat this potato right here, and maybe that broccoli over there, those Brussels sprouts in the bag are okay, oh and give me that frozen chicken despite that you've eviscerated it while it still lives...I don't care it's tasty.
The long and short of it is. I'm not subscribing to this fast food bullshit anymore because I simply don't enjoy this system of propping up the chemicals that you've added to my foods that cause me to regret consuming it. I've learned through careful observations of my reactions that some of what you're putting in front of me are detrimental, you can keep that crap. You eat it, you buy the antacids. I'm not playing your game anymore when my own body has made it clear that there is something that you're doing that isn't good for me.
So, Krystals, Marie Callendar, Mr. DiGorno, and all of you other food manufacturing bitches, I'm publicly making it known that there won't be any more of your chemically treated pre-packed non-foods consumed by this apple-pie gobbler any more.
And dammit, I don't care what kind of package you put it in, I'm not gonna eat it.
You tell me what sounds better?
I don't know about the rest of you, but I tend to do better when I consume something that isn't in a box with some doofus's logo on it. I like my food in a bag, or in as little packaging as possible. And, my stomach will corroborate this if you want to interview it yourself to confirm that.
Case in point, I've paid pretty close attention to when and where I've eaten and how my body has reacted to what I've put into it and anything from Krystal's is not allowed anymore. Which is sad, because I actually enjoy consuming those slimy-tenth of a centimeter thick beef patties on thick slabs of steamy bread. But, that ecstasy lasts only for a moment, because afterward I'm cursing this manufactured food industry that we apparently embrace in this spur of the moment world we've launched ourselves into when we sat foot on the moon and planted our Ronald McDonald flag.
Anytime that I eat those burgers, I get some violent heartburn and I doubt that I'm the only person on this misshapen ball of rocks and water that responds this way. I don't know if it's age, or a change in their manufacturing practice, or it's something that is symptomatic of this whole industry of fast food that has laid waste to my digestive system, but I simply suffer more than I enjoy consuming fast food from that particular establishment nowadays.
I write this only as a response in recently learning that they are expanding their reach into the fast food market, as well as a sort of plea to their organization that they try to focus on making foods that I(along with all of my brothers and sisters in heartburn) can consume and enjoy free of whatever additives that they've stretched out their materials with to make it possible for them to increase their market share of the American consumer's digestive malaise. Seriously, I eat a lot of different foods. I'm pretty freaking omniviorous, and not a picky eater. So I have to ask you, Krystal, what are you doing now to your food that you weren't doing in the past couple of years that have caused me to regret ever hearing of your little tasty square grease laden burgers that are so perfect after a night of alcoholic debauchery? You must have added something, or neglected including something that has lead to this sort of reaction from one of your previously ravenous consumers.
I don't think that it's just Krystals that is guilty of stretching out materials with fillers and chemically treated substances which likely shouldn't be consumed by human beings, but Krystals happens to be what is on my mind at this moment. Actually, it's most anything that is in a package that I have had a problem with lately, boxes specifically. Pre-prepared foods that contain a laundry-list of hard to pronounce chemicals that have no place in a human digestive tract, yes you Budget Gourmet, Stouffers, Digorno, and you too Marie Callendar, all of you do nothing but cause me to have heartburn. After I've eaten your food, I have to go and have an antacid. So, over time I've learned that it's just not worth it to subscribe to your version of fast food in a pretty box that I can prepare in minutes in my microwave, screw you and your antacid producing parent companies too. I'll just eat this potato right here, and maybe that broccoli over there, those Brussels sprouts in the bag are okay, oh and give me that frozen chicken despite that you've eviscerated it while it still lives...I don't care it's tasty.
The long and short of it is. I'm not subscribing to this fast food bullshit anymore because I simply don't enjoy this system of propping up the chemicals that you've added to my foods that cause me to regret consuming it. I've learned through careful observations of my reactions that some of what you're putting in front of me are detrimental, you can keep that crap. You eat it, you buy the antacids. I'm not playing your game anymore when my own body has made it clear that there is something that you're doing that isn't good for me.
So, Krystals, Marie Callendar, Mr. DiGorno, and all of you other food manufacturing bitches, I'm publicly making it known that there won't be any more of your chemically treated pre-packed non-foods consumed by this apple-pie gobbler any more.
And dammit, I don't care what kind of package you put it in, I'm not gonna eat it.
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