The human experience is at times a hard road. We face trials in our lives which make the rest of it worth the living, I guess it's true what they say that the 'sweet just ain't as sweet without the bitter,' something courtesy of Vanilla Sky. And, even though there's some grain of truth to that, it's still a hard row to hoe sometimes. We struggle with material, situations, and our own petty fears and desires. There has to be more beyond this veil, our consciousness has to be capable of transcending the day to day. But how? Are we supposed to work and reach our 'enlightened states' in our 'off hours'? Surely there's more to this humdrum existence then, find a career, find a mate, settle down, reproduce, have a few years of 'how was your day, mine was okay, how was yours?'
I'm a happy fella, but yeah..just like everyone else...I do get in those blue moods. Stifled creativity, boredom, stagnation...something needs to be shook up, and I think it's me.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Sunday, January 09, 2005
The Growing
Another days passage has faded to memory
These sullen moments find us....wanting more of living...more of the hours of joyousness....and triumphs life offers...but we end only in solitary sleep...
I spent much of the day with my son. Whether I was watching him in his first basketball game and observing his wild unfocused energy, or I was taking him into the woods with me to see his destructiveness of appreciation for nature....I find that the waking life has it's merits most when it's shared. The solitary world is nice, for the comforts it offers you, the hours spent reading, listening to music, writing, walking....whatever it may be which moves you. But, the moments of shared experience is what we crave as humankind. The human animal is a social animal. Perhaps, not so much as some animals...but there is a high degree of socialization which we require for our survival in this life.
In witnessing early attempts at socialization..in some ways it's on it most basic levels...baser communication, brutality, affection, and mutual identification. I watched my son today with his teammates, and I find him to be unfocused. Perhaps it is the age (he's only 5) or perhaps it is another element which is lacking from his world. The unity of a home where mother and father are united in daily communication, presenting a solid foundational form of interpretation for the world around him, scripts from which to act out his desires from, and the discipline for response to stimulus. The other children, some of them flowed with grace through the play, seemingly more knowledgeable then my own child, seeming to see more the outcome of their actions, and the necessity for what they should do. While, my son was ever-present, though unfocused.
Where does this 'focus' in our lives come from? It follows us throughout living, and we find it in different areas of our living. Some of us are focused on ideas, while others are focused on objects, acts, or some other esoteric concepts.
These sullen moments find us....wanting more of living...more of the hours of joyousness....and triumphs life offers...but we end only in solitary sleep...
I spent much of the day with my son. Whether I was watching him in his first basketball game and observing his wild unfocused energy, or I was taking him into the woods with me to see his destructiveness of appreciation for nature....I find that the waking life has it's merits most when it's shared. The solitary world is nice, for the comforts it offers you, the hours spent reading, listening to music, writing, walking....whatever it may be which moves you. But, the moments of shared experience is what we crave as humankind. The human animal is a social animal. Perhaps, not so much as some animals...but there is a high degree of socialization which we require for our survival in this life.
In witnessing early attempts at socialization..in some ways it's on it most basic levels...baser communication, brutality, affection, and mutual identification. I watched my son today with his teammates, and I find him to be unfocused. Perhaps it is the age (he's only 5) or perhaps it is another element which is lacking from his world. The unity of a home where mother and father are united in daily communication, presenting a solid foundational form of interpretation for the world around him, scripts from which to act out his desires from, and the discipline for response to stimulus. The other children, some of them flowed with grace through the play, seemingly more knowledgeable then my own child, seeming to see more the outcome of their actions, and the necessity for what they should do. While, my son was ever-present, though unfocused.
Where does this 'focus' in our lives come from? It follows us throughout living, and we find it in different areas of our living. Some of us are focused on ideas, while others are focused on objects, acts, or some other esoteric concepts.
Patterns
I took this today on another visit to the John Muir Trail which runs alongside the Hiwassee River here in Tennessee. The main reason it jumped out at me was the pattern which seems to exist in it. I've been in a constant search for understanding of the whats, whys, and hows of the natural world for many years. I'm not anywhere near the understanding of it, but its always a joy to see some glimmer of something which makes some sense. I dont think it's a perfect pattern by any means, but there's definitely some pattern at work here, it's not just in plantlife which there's pattern...but the most basic blocks of life have pattern in them.
Everything seems to have reason, everything seems to have rhyme.
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