Time, Time, Time

Why am I not sleeping?

Lately, the days haven't been composed of enough time. 2005 has been like a vapor. It hardly seems to have begun and now we are at the end of it. Perhaps time is accelerating, or my perception of it is growing, or maybe it's decreasing.

Is it that as we age our ability to sense time changes?



Rusted brandy in a diamond glass
everything is made from dreams
time is made from honey slow and sweet
only the fools know what it means
temptation, temptation, temptation

Jokes stored in jars

The funny things in life are best hinted at. At times, they are painfully obvious and it takes a great strength of will to avoid pointing them out to a potential victim. At others, depending on the situation it's perfectly fine to plunge that razor witticism directly into an unsuspecting neck. Those situations are myriad and they depend upon the involved parties. You have to admit though, it does take a strength of will to pass on one of those instances and put it away for the future. To simply bide your time until the proper moment comes along to spring it once more. By then, you've evolved the perfect delivery and point of entry to deliver it in the harshest way. Or, you'll choose to laugh about it to yourself for a while and treasure that little snippet for yourself. You sort of just put it up on a shelf, in a little jar in your mind. Sometimes taking it down and opening up the jar, smelling it to see if it's still fresh, then recapping it, and placing it back on the shelf.

A few cryptic words of advice for anyone thinking about it, acting acting like it, considering it, desiring it, planning it, scheming on it, or plotting to get married.

First, what's the big hurry?

Second, if you're going to do it don't go about telling your former spouses. Just do it, why do they really need to know, or why do they even care?

Third, don't go about telling your former spouses after you've told them once before and it didn't happen.

So, let's recap.

If you have the opportunity to say something hurtful to someone, sometimes you should do it, other times you shouldn't.

After someone divorces you, they probably did it for a good reason and don't really care if you are getting married again. The fact is, they are probably hoping you will so that you'll have better things to do than take all your angst out on them. Further, you should learn your lesson after the first time you tell them that you are about to marry someone and it doesn't happen. If you don't learn that lesson, you're bound to be the butt of countless jokes stored in jars on shelves for many years.

You might not get laughed at to your face, but there will likely be a lot of laughter and pity behind your back.

Nation of Idiots

We are a nation of slathering masses salivating at the moment when the delicacies of capitalism are revealed to us. We lose simple coordination if we don't get the products we need, soiling our clothing and our floors.
Advertisers paint the people in commercials to be stumbling and bumbling dolts. Consider the current commercial for the return of the McRib sandwich. The commercial is centered in a dry cleaner where a long line of customers are continuing to arrive with shirts and blouses stained with McRib sauce. The commercial cautions us to leave our good shirts at home. Are we really this moronic and incapable of having a meal without spilling or dripping foodstuffs upon our clothing? McDonald's marketing would like us to think that we are. I wonder, of you out there, how many fit into this psychographic niche. These fast food diners who can't seem to avoid staining their clothing.
Another good example is the campaign from Hardee's(Carl's Famous Star in the west.
Their campaign claims, 'Without us, some guys would starve.' Now, I've eaten at Hardee's on several occasions, but I don't feel like I would starve without them. I'm a guy and I'm perfectly capable of seeing to my needs for sustenance without the need of driving to their restaurant. A prime example of their target audience is depicted in the commercial that features an early morning thirtysomething who has foolishly allowed his coffeemaker to run over into the floor. The voiceover is painting a picture of his ability(and other of these guys who would perish) get a promotion, juggle three girlfriends, etc, but this 'breakfast' it's mystical and there's no way that one of these guys can actually manage to feed himself in the morning.

Are we really this nation of idiots?

And where is our portion control gene?