Where do we finally draw the line within ourselves? Is there a portal that we cross and we realize that we can no longer go back to what once was? I've seen many of these milestones in my brief life of 33 years. And I'm longing for earlier times when living was much simpler. If I could go back and do all the things that I know I've done wrong again, I would. I'm sure that many people would, given the chance. But, conversely, we must come to know that where we are in our lives is of our own making. It's not some cosmic dice game which we are the subject of, we make our own choices and we are faced to live with them after we make them.
Whether it's a bankruptcy, a divorce, a birth, a death, or a new job...the choices which we make they carry their repercussions throughout our existence. We'd all like to go back to Senior prom and ask that beautiful girl to dance, or long for that moment of indescision where opportunity passed us on in the moment, or maybe to place a bet on something at the time we knew was a sure thing, but for some reason or other we didn't do any of those things in that moment. The cause seemed true enough, yet there was something gnawing at our spirts which gave us just enough pause to miss out on a tributary which the river of our life never allowed to be carved out of our canyons.
We can make our promises to ourselves, say that we're going to do things differently in the moment when it comes again, but will we? Will we have the wherewithal to give those moments the concert in our senses which they truly need? Can we be powerful enough to take the oars in our hands, pilot our tiny canoe down the raging river, and go against the current? Or will we simply choose to let life wash us down the river, taking us with it where it may?
