Wave

I wonder sometimes. Can you feel me thinking of you in tender moments of solitude?
I wonder sometimes, if you know the depths beneath this surface.
If the connections across the great divide are functioning
If the thoughts sent travel at the speed of spirit?
I wonder sometimes about the world and the distances between points
I ponder thoughts of packing, travel, jumping trains, boats, planes
and car rides alongside you.
I wonder if the madness in my spirit will overtake me,
and those tender moments of solitude will turn to tender moments shared.

The life unlived

A life unlived, the dream is released. I let it go, and move along to brighter horizons. Mystics and soothsayers have divined these passings with the throwing of bones, tossing of cards, and the readings of the stars. Simply put, some things in our conscious existence just aren't to be. We follow a part of our paths down until they reach a cul de sac, then we are left with the questions of settling in the dead end, or turning our pale tiny canoe around and rowing against the stream until we see a brighter horizon. It's the beauty of living that makes us go on most of the time, while we err, sometimes on the side of hope, we still realize that our path in life is the one that matters. Finding our way through this maelstrom that is our consciousness perception of reality is our lot in life, which ever compass we choose, be it religion, intuition, or reason will typically guide us to where we feel we should be, at least for a time until the upset of living jostles our tiny canoe and the ripples force us to reconsider.

Cracking the shell..

I'm stepping outside my comfort zone. It's the only way to grow beyond these bounds, the constraints that I've allowed to be placed upon me for far too long. I think that it's necessary for us all to find a way to get out of our comfort zones occasionally. A couple years back, I'd read an excerpt of something that was rumoured to have been written by Kurt Vonnegut, but then it was revealed to have been some sort of hoax; regardless the piece called....'Wear Sunscreen' is chocked full of hit and run wisdom. One of the things that's stuck with me from it was:

Do one thing every day that scares you.

I think that we all get very complacent with our living, and just do the things that we know we're expert at, or that we find we've a special affinity for excellence in, but those things don't make us grow. They just show what we're capable of, but not what we can reach.

Are we all just happy to live within the shell of our own makings and not to explode that shell and explore the world around us, cracking open the chrysalis, spreading our wings and floating off on the warm winds blowing?

I have to say that I feel that I'm in a period of growth right now. I'm being forced to learn some new skills, as well as choosing to learn some new ones on my own. I have a very strong sense of freedom and growth, and confidence. I may fail, I may succeed, but I think I'll be richer for the journey.

Destiny

It's essential in life that we set goals for ourselves. Having something to look forward to, a milestone to pass, or an accomplishment that we want to make gives us the purpose that we need everyday. I've spent a lot of my life not planning, letting my dice fall where they may, sometimes picking them up and casting them again, while others being tossed about by the whims of fortune. There is something to be said of a fatalistic method such as that, it can lead you to your ultimate state of being eventually, but upon getting closer to that state...it's time to take the reins and begin to drive that wild horse of destiny to the place that you want to go.

Destiny is no slave to be mastered,
she is a vicious, trying horse
and you..
but a rider.

How's it going to end?

The other side of the universe yields it's mysteries in moments of the closest connections.

Shared moments of laughter, expose the swirling arm of far away galaxies.

A sigh hints of the collapse of a star.

Sometimes to categorize feelings, it's very difficult. Putting the mixture of emotions that we're capable of in any given moment into a succint twist of phrase, is at times an impossibility. The conflicts we have with our inner voices, the faiths in living we embrace, the knowledge of the coming day and it's events, all swirlling in our minds trying to find a grasp on the formation of that turn of phrase to describe our inner struggle. Yet, somehow...we manage to filter out the conflicting emotions, constrain our faiths to reality, and curtail our conveyance of our own knowledge enough so that they all work in tandem to create this dialogue with the rest of the world. Whether those feelings are of love, nervousness, fear, excitement, or despondency...somehow the spirit is able to distill them into a few phrases to pass along those feelings to the rest of the world.

I think that I'm in a sort of a swirl right now. I've always felt that I've been in a state of 'static change' or a state where there is a constant change going on in life. Perhaps all of us are in a static change, well....I will refute that immediately because I know people who never change, who resist change and neglect to ever allow themselves to change. Let me rephrase it, Perhaps some of us are in a static change where we're constantly opening ourselves up to the universe extending our spirits and allowing them to be affected by the world around; always seeking knowledge and understanding; and just trying our best to comprehend why we're here. Perhaps that makes for a life that is difficult to live, but doesn't the saying go that the 'unexamined life is a life not worth living."

(I'm really happy.)